08-19-2014, 10:25 AM
(08-11-2014, 04:47 AM)metalfan91 Wrote:Hi there Metalfan.The world awaits a war on wars.
A black flag as a declaration
To burn all flags and declarations.
A friendship,
Defending itself.
The world awaits
A language before words
That can find unarmored hearts
In which to thrive; toppling pillars
Of oppression and enslavement.
And fear.
The world awaits a love armed
To create a state of sovereigns.
A weapon of mass liberation;
A bomb that bursts into
Flourishing moments.
Let me start off with I am extremely new to any kind of formal poetry (both writing and critiquing) so forgive me if I am missing anything that should have been obvious. I get the overall idea of your poem but like the others there are just a few things that don't make any sense to me. What did you mean with a "Friendship defending itself"? I don't understand what you were trying to say there. Also, what is a "a love armed"? I'm just not making the connection here to the rest of the poem.
What is the point of living if you don't allow yourself to live?

