infinitesimal (1st draft) please comment.

[John Galt]

In this peaceful moment a sigh of content cleanses my mind,
Lungs in harmony with the winds around me,
Carrying the weight from atop my shoulders.

Mountains patiently surround me,
Meditating, watching, growing,
The wild wild winds of time are as still as the depths of ancient ice,

Oh the beauty of being infinitely aware whilst endlessly insignificant .

I understand completely what it is you are trying to impart, I too "feel" to the greatest depth possible. I free climb on the gritstone edges in the Peak District, and experience your last line frequently, with the exeption being that instead of feeling "insignificant" I feel a part of the whole universe.

My thought on reading your poem was that old thing called "Show&Tell." I.E. I feel you are telling me rather than showing me.
There are many sites dealing with the matter on the internet, and it may help your future writing if you try to get a handle on it. Some people say it does not matter if you "tell" and I agree that some "tell" is necessary, but it does strike me( as it does here in your poem) when it is overdone. JG