it's a good effort at a sonnet with quite a few problems. many have been mention but i'll reiterate just two or three.
have one or two questions by all means but not ever line.
the sonnet:
It must be lyrical -- rhyme and meter should be regular and unforced, so that if you wanted to, you could sing it (that's what sonnet means, "little song")
There should be two parts to a sonnet -- an introduction to a problem or situation set-up and a resolution or concluding summary
A sonnet is not a narrative. It is a lyric poem, often used to explore love or philosophy, but could be any theme you choose.
it's very hard to achieve the above if every line is a question.
end rhymes should be as near perfect as possible till you get the hang of good end rhymes, then you can use half or near rhyme.
the content:
at present you tell us the sonnet try and use simile/ metaphor to show or allude to what you want to say (check out the flashcard forum at the bottom of the home site's home page for information on some device0, and if your not sure post a question in one of the help or discussion forums
good luck and keep up the good work.
have one or two questions by all means but not ever line.
the sonnet:
It must be lyrical -- rhyme and meter should be regular and unforced, so that if you wanted to, you could sing it (that's what sonnet means, "little song")
There should be two parts to a sonnet -- an introduction to a problem or situation set-up and a resolution or concluding summary
A sonnet is not a narrative. It is a lyric poem, often used to explore love or philosophy, but could be any theme you choose.
it's very hard to achieve the above if every line is a question.
end rhymes should be as near perfect as possible till you get the hang of good end rhymes, then you can use half or near rhyme.
the content:
at present you tell us the sonnet try and use simile/ metaphor to show or allude to what you want to say (check out the flashcard forum at the bottom of the home site's home page for information on some device0, and if your not sure post a question in one of the help or discussion forums
good luck and keep up the good work.
(08-04-2014, 03:55 AM)Smudge173 Wrote: "Right now I’m wondering, where are you now?
Are we in the same country, or does fate not allow?
Are we thousands of miles apart, or just round the corner?
All I’m sure of at this time, is that love has no border.
What are you doing now? Are you asleep or awake
The more I think about you, the more my heart begins to ache.
Is your mind free like a bird, with wind gushing through your wings
Or are you sat alone just like me, pondering the same things?
Do we have common interests? How about pastimes
Your enjoyment and happiness, will translate into mine.
Are we two peas in a pod, or just like white and black
Because I’ve heard once or twice, that opposites attract.
I’m putting together who you are, but I’m missing a few pieces
Name, face, where you live, and especially your best features.
Right now I’m wondering, when will we ever meet?
Are you a good friend of mine, or a stranger from the street?"
Thanks for reading. I would appreciate any feedback.