Ins and Outs of Dead Men on the Rivers of Isis (milo, billy)

[Truerenigma]

Our irises contract when eyed
gardenias drown and envies bud
under the dust of our outsides.

I have thought about this portion quite a bit. The linebreak on eyed creates an ambiguity around "eyed irises" vs "eyed gardenias" but instead of creating two equally interesting options neither seems to really work for me. I do like word play but irises being eyed might be just too clever for their own good. Overall, I wonder if this spontaneous garden under the dust is really pulling its weight.

hey, good point, "drown" seems to be the only thing holding it to the rest, eh?

and yah - good one (spontaneous) *snickers* one almost expects a daffodil to go along with the scud. The gardenias seem pointless to me right now and, yes, I'm probably even willing to give up on the irises. There's gotta be something better.



Thanks for calling it to mind.

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cool avatar btw