08-04-2014, 03:51 AM
* I try here to set a mystical atmosphere. Some ambiguity is intended. Also I try to describe a certain musical tone (found for example here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcztJ4hLdNQ) but I'm having trouble. And not sure about "eerie". Please give me any suggestion or opinion
The vast exalted sky
blasting through the tight tainted houses and buildings.
Drops of rain stroke the window of
the empty bar; tables soiled
with stacked ancient hearts-
A first sip from their drink.
Drowned fair ring of backroom slot machines.
Left speakers whisper,
tempting the calm.
A barmaid stares-
Under the cadence,
slow and eerie,
something is changing.
They eye each other for a moment
-
The vast exalted sky
blasting through the tight tainted houses and buildings.
Drops of rain stroke the window of
the empty bar; tables soiled
with stacked ancient hearts-
A first sip from their drink.
Drowned fair ring of backroom slot machines.
Left speakers whisper,
tempting the calm.
A barmaid stares-
Under the cadence,
slow and eerie,
something is changing.
They eye each other for a moment
-