How bright the flame

[tectak]

Kind of emo and non traditional but I wrote it a few years ago and thought it would be a good idea to see what y'all thought:
how bright the flame:
The first time I saw you, I knew you would break my heart.
You look at me, I looked at you,
and oh yes I knew then.

So handsome and strong, I knew it couldn't last
You were too great, and I not enough
but I wanted you and my stupid heart didn't care for how long.

You held my hand and it felt like just you and me
It was only my hand, but really you held my heart.
You look at me and I could not breathe.
You kissed me and butterflies danced a rhythm on my chest.
So excited but I knew it was just the start.

So old, but it felt so new,
So new yet I felt so right,
and so right yet it felt so wrong.

I gave you my heart, my mind, all of me.
I trusted you, but you never trusted me.
Burned by your past, you held back,
And I, so new, didn't notice.

I gave you my heart before I realized you didn't want it.
Now it's too late, my heart goes with you.

How short the love but how bright the flame that consumed me.
Now I am but ashes and still it consumes me.

Hi dwest,
Much if the crit on this piece is generic, formula stuff. The reason for this is clearly because the poem itself is "of a type". Your subject is difficult for even experienced poets to write on as it is always a forensic search for "newness". If anything, it is harder for experience to triumph over mundanity because of the wealth of prior knowledge...so in your metaphoric youthfullness you have simply regurgitated much of what has been written by others though you are unaware of this (call me trusting). As has been pointed out, some of your stanzas are rehashed lyrics from generic love songs...you may plausibly deny this.
So, what to do?
Well, first of all accept your own crit. Emo and traditional do not seem to me to be virtues in a poem...go for untraditional ( you started it, though "traditional" is not the word I would use) and intellectual creativity. By all.means use your per stanza "themes" as building blocks but get your imagination going and throw some paint on the wall.
Nice try, but once you excuse your own work we kind folk are bound to agree with you
Best,
tectak