07-29-2014, 07:14 PM
best to just post one poem in a thread ajc as it's a tad unfair to expect four replies off each person.
the idea i think is to use as much brevity as possile while showing a strong image. no problems in general with the first three but the last one needs something better on the last line.
the idea i think is to use as much brevity as possile while showing a strong image. no problems in general with the first three but the last one needs something better on the last line.
(07-26-2014, 06:15 PM)ajcohen613 Wrote: crows on a wire
black sun cut in half
by sharp plains
--
leaves falling
a children’s park buried
in dead reminders
--
floral skirt
wind runs through her curls
picking up petals
--
a match sparks
eyes appear from darkness
seeing only eyes for me this line fails to show or tell me anything. it also begs the question " wouldn't the match also be seen"?