Losing the thread

[John Galt]

Calm, in all its continuity,
threaded delicately through time,
flickering past and present

___but threatening to tighten
at the imminent jolt of
__________________unease


Original:

calm in all its continuity
a loose thread through time
not taut

so easily slackens into
flickering shapes of
_____________unease

Hi Dupuis, I ask myself what your intention was for the reader.
1st, did you intend the poem to be purely absract.
2nd, was there a thread running through the poem that could be discerned that would give the reader a chance to interact with the poem.

My reading was a follows, there was no concrete imagery that grounded the poem for me, It was purely abstract. the upshot of this was that the poem left me with nothing that engaged with any of my senses.

Welcome to the site, JG