The Ghost Fruit Trees, Toward the End

[billy]

i'd never heard of a ghost fruit tree so i googled the bugger.
based on what i found out; the poem is a treat to read, and it gets better the more times i read it. while ebon is archaic it really does fit the poem and someone who hadn't come across it could easily know what it means. if i had to mark the thing it would be the 2nd line which holds two cliches, that said the rest of the poem swallows them up and they're hardly noticed enough to worry about. leanne alread mention the great enjambment and i agree with her, the follow ons you have give the perfect pauses. the last two lines of the 1st stanza sets a great picture in the readers mind and from there on it just got better.

thanks for the read.

The Ghost Fruit

The ghost fruit keeps its secrets. Ebon pits,
big as your fist, litter the ground, picked
clean by starburst wrens, skittering
around. Some seeds three years old. Lit
from behind, their blue germs still shimmer:
lively, tiny, doomed. Soon, none will exist.
one shrinking copse, by a waterfall, persists.
Once, ten-thousand spawning behemoths trenched

the river soil. Black-skinned eggs and black-
shelled pits alike they tucked into the brack, does it need a comma after alike?
then broody laid until the glowing sprouts
lead the hatchlings up and out, which browsed
the stems until they glowed, and soldiered off
the waterfall into the sea, camouflaged as stars.

Now, one last sad-eyed giant, trumpeting,
forlorn, finally tired, finally
too old, to keep the mound warm enough . . .

She tries. She tries so hard before she dies.