The Bee

[billy]

while parts are okay others are to laden with wasted word (verbiage)
i can't pick out the good parts because they reside amongst the not so good stuff. cleaned up the poem will improve tenfold.

As observed, the bee seems the perfect servant, [as observed] is it really needed as it's a given
traveling from one location to another. not sure traveling is the best descriptor of bee movement you could use, buzz/bumble/flit/and a hundred more would be better at creating the image that's needed.
Random, but somehow perfect, [somehow] isn't needed
appearing distracted yet always at work.

Living in that smaller world, to us, something other than living would help the image]
we look down on them, how and why? [it's also a cliche]
and receive their toil over breakfast toast, the fruit of there toil, unless they butter the toast.
or other parts of life which require sweetening.

Thinking ourselves better, because we can think. this line isn't needed and adds nothing as it's a given we okay, most of us) are more intelligent

[Image: http://latebreakingcatholic.files.wordpr...07/bee.jpg]