07-21-2014, 12:26 AM
(07-20-2014, 01:56 PM)Brian Wrote:Please read previous posts and reserve contemporary crit for the living. Out of respect for escorial this crit will stand but please do not expect a credited edit any time soon.(03-12-2013, 12:34 AM)escorial Wrote: i would love to believeThere's not much I can add about the punctuation, Are you referring to Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen? I listen to it often, and like many of the covers done by various artists, Miljenko Matijevik being my favorite.
find you crossing my path
stand by my side when i'm alone
walk with me on my journey
follow me down this long road
when i see sunset i see only sky
in nature i see only miles to walk
a swinging cross on a windscreen
bible unread in a hotel room
preacher shouting in the street
now the days are long
the night fades into daylight
my body is strong
the soul is weak
lost in every place i visit
was there a time i did believe
when i was a kid in the street
schooldays and morning mass
religious education class
i listened and wondered
time has passed
life's journey as set me aside
ive cried and wished so hard
that you were really there I like the word here to replace there
I often sing quietly to hallelujah
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Believe and street were both used twice with the end of a line, I feel like something different should have been used, probably just me.
The poem reminds me of a persons struggle to believe in God and shows that there is still faith,..imo I do like it
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