Green, Green, Gone
#2
(07-17-2014, 10:39 AM)Keith Wrote:  Strange enough that it had grown
on the side of a sandstone slab.great sibilance
A huge knarred hand reaching out"knarred" is perfect, you may not need "out"
to touch another world,
held by an underground prison.
I thought of it as old,
generations had played at its wrist,
swung from its finger tips.

The rope had been robbed
from a coal mine,
It gave out black blisters
and was hung by a rumour.Love this line

The pendulum effect was magnificent,[/b]
motion sickness spun from the canopy
to the creak of a rolling Galleon.
Roots drank the blood of virginsThis is the one line I'm stuck on. It's not actually cliche. but the rest of the poem is so much above it.
that sat and looked at dirty books,
before they chanced the rope
and felt the kiss of bark. another favorite line

They chopped off its hand
with no one to hold it,
broke up the slab,
sealed the wound with tar,
built houses over the prison.

I visited and spoke through the glass,
we wept for our loss.
Hey Keith. I enjoyed this one very much. Some outstanding word choices in keeping with the tree/hand-arm motifs. Thanks for sharing. - Paul
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Messages In This Thread
Green, Green, Gone - by Keith - 07-17-2014, 10:39 AM
RE: Green, Green, Gone - by Tiger the Lion - 07-17-2014, 11:39 AM
RE: Green, Green, Gone - by Keith - 07-18-2014, 07:54 AM
RE: Green, Green, Gone - by Tiger the Lion - 07-18-2014, 08:08 AM
RE: Green, Green, Gone - by cidermaid - 07-17-2014, 04:21 PM
RE: Green, Green, Gone - by Keith - 07-19-2014, 05:10 PM



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