Real Girl

[Anonymous]

Real Girl

Dark night in a futurescape, perhaps another word other than futurescape, if any. doesn't really matter, i simply don't like it.
Only one room, no lights, with no escape. nice setting
The sound of ambience could be heard over
    the sound of the ambulance. i like this, but it's unlikely that anything can overpower those obnoxious sirens. i'd like to add an idea: the ringing sound from a passing ambulance only added to the ambience
Real girl, you have me in your trance.
Tell me, is this fate?
I see the dim red light shining through your corset, i'm assuming she's a robot or an artificial being from this line
Recording in your forehead, the two of us on floor beds.
"It doesn't matter what you're wearing,"
    I said in whispers as you're whirring.
"But does it matter who I'm wearing,"
    she replied, glowing all red. I'm a little confused, is she an artificial being that can blush?
In the top floor suite of a hotel left in ruins.
Drones overhead, surreptitiously snapping pictures of what we're doing, just thought it'd be cool to add some alliteration
Live-streaming missionary in a city of no missionaries. loll, i love it
A worldwide audience, online for the viewing. Would people really prefer to watch you-- or the main character-- having sex with an artificial robot rather than go buy/obtain their own?
Red and blue lights glaring, sirens echo through the morning,
Raiding rooms below us, hearing nothing but your moaning.
Flashlights piercing through the darkness of our fantasy,
Through the corridors of crime. is there a reason why the cops are at this particular hotel, or is the reader to find a conclusion at their own volition? which is cool too, i like the ambiguity.
Excuse us for not mourning. the main character is having intercourse with a female robot, but she technically can't mourn-- robots are generally thought as purely logical, no emotion. sorry for being nitpicky, just throwing it out there. Perhaps say me rather than us.
Rain drops pouring by the window as it vibrates
    from the music bass pounding - the illusion that we're quiet. nice
Posthuman primates in a drug infested complex,
Eyes caught in contact as our pupils start to dilate.
Sweeper 'bots knock at our door that is locked,
Oblivious to the fact that our bodies have it blocked. scandalous!
Caught in haste, our ways leave the windows
    in a state of haze, with minds so dazed
        we negate the hallways ablaze.
The sprinklers turn on, windows transparent from opaque,
As the door hinges break from the strength of our bodies' weight.
Artificial love is the dance that we are waging,
Real girl never slowing down,
Pure energy, no breaks/brakes. breaking?
As the fire dissipates, the ad light shines through the hallway.
"A sale on teledildonics," it says, hahah, o' man.
Oh, what corporate foreplay.
Drones still viewing through the now open doorway,
Airing a social media gourmet of our risqué soirée. outstanding line
Dreamstate fantasies now merge with our reality.
Our sinful night now growing short, as they all do, xD
Oh, sweet cyber blasphemy. I feel as if this line is forced/unnecessary
We make our way downstairs, through the chaos of our everyday,
In the background only sounds of lustful cybernetic threeways.
For today, we say, was a night of futuristic artistry,
Circuitry mixed with anarchy, in a world opposed to chastity. another fantastic line!
You may vanish when I exit, real girl of my dreams,
But when I return, so will you -
Alive in the beams, pure energy.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=qe7ed6vrHJ8]

I liked it. I did laugh a lot; a lot the lines seemed humorous to me. It also has wonderful imagery. I'm not exactly sure what's going on outside of the hotel room, but I think the point of your poem was to make it that way-- all that mattered was going on inside the room. i enjoyed reading it, and learned some new words-- teledildonics. I also gave my advice prior to watching your video that brings clarity to the poem, i'd rather show you what i got out of it from face value, because not all your readers will watch the video.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, I commend you on the creativity!