Church Music

[just mercedes]

Hi! I like the pastoral setting, and the reminders of the cycle of life. The metaphor of cathedral works well here.

In spring when the last bale is fed out,
and before this year's crop,
another twenty thousand strong,these next three lines need more attention, I think.
fills the gaping space again, I like the slant rhyme. Some confusion as to whether 'twenty thousand strong' is singular or plural
a multitude build their nests Do you need 'their'?
along the ancient hay fork track
and in the dozens of corner braces needed?
that grace the timber frame. Again, nice sounds

Long before first light
sporadic voices predict the dawn, needed?
and as the east begins to glow a bit cliche here, a pity because your images so far have been fresh and different
a hallelujah chorus forms among the beams. these next three lines need a little tightening too
Amplified by half an acre of tin roof
is this rejoicing at the defeat of darkness.
In the bones of a rural cathedral lovely imagery
exuberant praise for the morning.

Thanks for posting - I enjoyed the dawn visit!