06-29-2014, 11:04 AM
(06-29-2014, 07:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: As most of the bone has been picked clean, and my mind is weary, I'll pick on this one meter irregularity. That is not to say the rest is correctly metered, it's just that this one caught my fancy because you went out of your way to abbreviate a word you did not need to.Thank you for your thoughts, Erthona. Pointing that out to me actually helps a bit to clear up some of the misunderstanding I was having about meter. There's a post just above this one called Basic Meter that I've really been meaning to sit down and read, along with some of the other good information that I've browsed through on here.
"on those entwined 'neath your light," --> "on those entwined beneath your light," regular iambic tetrameter.
Dale
“The writing of poetry is a chancy business, it's currency solitude and loss, its tools coffee and too much wine, its hours midnight, dawn, and dusk, and unlike other trade the hours asleep are not time off.” - Keith Miller, The Book of Flying