06-29-2014, 07:47 AM
As most of the bone has been picked clean, and my mind is weary, I'll pick on this one meter irregularity. That is not to say the rest is correctly metered, it's just that this one caught my fancy because you went out of your way to abbreviate a word you did not need to.
"on those entwined 'neath your light," --> "on those entwined beneath your light," regular iambic tetrameter.
Dale
"on those entwined 'neath your light," --> "on those entwined beneath your light," regular iambic tetrameter.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.