Fat Man

[LorettaYoung]

I feel like this poem has no real substance or message apart from your contemptuous attitude towards two fat people eating lunch and enjoying each others company. Decent Imagery though. Maybe try to focus on conveying a message or inserting some sort of meaning or possibly humour or poetic justice (Morbid example would be you, as the observer discovering the man had a heart attack due to his diet) That would be a fitting ending if you wanted to continue the stereotype in which your poem talks about.

I appreciate your thoughts. The story isn't about making fun of fat people, though it may appear that way at it's surface. The story is more about the narrator who takes pleasure in watching a guy who looks absolutely miserable in life. Once the fat man finds a partner and is enjoying himself, the man no longer finds it fun to watch him. Hope that clears it up. Thanks for reading it.

Fair point, I didn't piece that together

---

Hi, an interesting thought; that the man enjoys watching someone miserable and why. Perhaps you can accentuate that; it will make it more accessible and expand the thought. Thanks for posting, Best Loretta