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Days End
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06-19-2014, 06:56 AM
I'm not sure if the second to last line is an improvement. I liked the feeling we got from the last one that he was scared he'd lose his sight or his life or even his humanity at any moment, but it felt clunky. I do like the change of the line before that though, it adds depth. Going in a good direction imo--keep at it! =]
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The howling beast is back. |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Days End - by Tiger the Lion - 06-06-2014, 07:01 AM
RE: Days End - by rowens - 06-06-2014, 07:24 AM
RE: Days End - by Tiger the Lion - 06-06-2014, 08:14 AM
RE: Days End - by achenivi - 06-06-2014, 09:59 AM
RE: Days End - by LorettaYoung - 06-06-2014, 10:15 AM
RE: Days End - by Tiger the Lion - 06-09-2014, 06:32 AM
RE: Days End - by QDeathstar - 06-06-2014, 12:15 PM
RE: Days End - by nb - 06-08-2014, 09:15 PM
RE: Days End - by justcloudy - 06-08-2014, 11:54 PM
RE: Days End - by sandraleigh05 - 06-19-2014, 01:03 AM
RE: Days End - by Tiger the Lion - 06-19-2014, 01:26 AM
RE: Days End - by rowens - 06-19-2014, 05:35 AM
RE: Days End - by justcloudy - 06-19-2014, 06:56 AM
RE: Days End - by Tiger the Lion - 06-19-2014, 08:59 AM
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