Cigarette Smoke

[tectak]

Cigarette smoke dulls
All that's too beautiful
I can breathe again

Hello nick,
It seems that you spend quite some time online checking to see if anyone has responded to your poem...have you read the site rules? Try giving another poster some critique...the favour will usually be returned. Unless, of course, you are just another fly-tipper...dropping your poem on the site and then running away. Surely not?
To your haiku(?) if that is your intention. Traditionalists like 5,7,5 syllables in the lines but you have avoided convention by the contraction of "that is" so you have 5,6,5 to no real purpose.
Content wise it is poorly expressed because you use the word "too", meaning excessively, and this ruins the sentiment by confusion. If beauty is excessive and cigarette smoke dulls it then result...but remember that it only dulls what is too beautiful and leaves the rest. Is that your point? Perhaps it is...but then comes the disconnect (not a juxtaposition) in the last line. Suddenly we switch from abstract imagery to hard physiological relief. Breathing?
No. For me thus fails on many levels but as the haiku was originally written in a single vertical line we pretenders can be excused the useful and informative punctuation. Or can we?
Best and read more haiku.
tectak

Latterly noted your crits so a response from you is expected