06-09-2014, 10:24 PM
Hey...
The aroma of a virga fills the air,
a gust pushes chimes; they surrender.
The storm is coming.
The first drop wets a blade of grass,
erect, ready to accept the warmth
of summer's shower.
Everything feels intense now:
The vivid lightning, thumping thunder, and torrential rain.
The storm has come.
I still think that there is a disconnect between "your stormy eyes staring seductively" and the rest of the poem. Who are you addressing?
nb
Qdeathstar Wrote:Im not a professional meteorologist, and neither are you, but we both knew what virga was.I had to look it up (even though my brother is a professional meterologist, really).
Qdeathstar Wrote:The aroma of virga fills the air,How about...
A gust pushes chimes, they surrender.
The storm is coming.
The first drop wets a blade of grass,
erect, ready to accept the warmth
of summer's shower.
Everything feels intense now.
The vivid lightning, thumping thunder, and torrential rain.
The storm has came.
The aroma of a virga fills the air,
a gust pushes chimes; they surrender.
The storm is coming.
The first drop wets a blade of grass,
erect, ready to accept the warmth
of summer's shower.
Everything feels intense now:
The vivid lightning, thumping thunder, and torrential rain.
The storm has come.
I still think that there is a disconnect between "your stormy eyes staring seductively" and the rest of the poem. Who are you addressing?
nb