06-03-2014, 10:36 AM
Ok, maybe I should clarify that the poem is supposed to be about muscle dysmorphia, better known as the "Adonis Complex". I wanted to convey that even though the speaker is in good shape, he is struggling with his weight and body image. He is his harshest critic and eventually stops eating and begins to go a bit crazy, even though he is aware that he has a nice body. He isn't actually a model.
Clearly what I ended up writing did not have the desired results. Can anyone help me convey this message better, does the poem make sense after this explanation, or should I scrap the whole thing?
Thanks for any help. I like the harsh criticism, I'd rather try to fix what I'm doing wrong than try and just do what works more.
Clearly what I ended up writing did not have the desired results. Can anyone help me convey this message better, does the poem make sense after this explanation, or should I scrap the whole thing?
Thanks for any help. I like the harsh criticism, I'd rather try to fix what I'm doing wrong than try and just do what works more.
I write what I see. Write to make it right, don't like where I be. I'd like to make it like the sights on TV. Quite the great life, so nice and easy.