The Current

[Tiger the Lion]

Thanks Erthona, I need to resist the urge to explain. Yourself and others have educated me that any explaining needs to be done within the poem, not without. I don't want to be the one saying "hey, this is great, but first let me preface it". It's a habit I'm slowly learning to ditch. I agree there is some cliche beginning at L5. I'm not sure how to fix it and still keep the juxtapositions I was hoping for. It seems, for me there is a pretty narrow path between cliche and obscure, but I'll find it. Thanks again.