Asahi

[Brownlie]

On that bus from Toronto,
while you dreamed on my shoulder
of Asahi cold and popcorn gold,
and a park built just for dogs to play, -- This seems like a verbose way to express the phrase "dog park" though it seems to conform to a type of meter it almost seems like a series of three cretic feet but I suppose that doesn't matter much. You might want to try using objects in a dog park to represent the idea if that is what you are trying to convey.
I think I might have whispered I love you.
I think you might have whispered okay. -- You may want to put okay in quotes. I suppose that is your call.

I think the ok at the end vindicates the poem, thanks for posting.