Male Poet

[Brownlie]

B,

Well I know that "chopping three-stacked lines" is earth, but it has been far to long to make anything out of this. Take the first line

"To I-ching men are seen in gusts" substitute "learned" for "I-ching"


"To learned men are seen in gusts" I see no sense in that line, or something is bypassing me. To me this is so grammatically tortured I can make little of it. This is probably because I don't know of what you are speaking...maybe.

I am ☳ and bend like ☵, but your meaniing passes me by like unfelt ☴ !

|||¦¦¦

dale

The first line needs a comma. I hadn't thought to use the actual hexagrams in a poem that was a good idea.

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Yeah, long time for me too, makes me want to dig one up, just to read.

Ditto on that first line, but I really like S2 and S3, particularly

"Who challenged death renaming grass
In bowers by himself"

It's beautiful.
Maybe I'd like the rest if I understood it, but the center of the poem really comes through.

Here's my preachy poem.

To I-ching men are seen in gusts
In cuts of howling wind
That flurry seeds to be recieved
With force in sweeping wings

Like printed lines we crack like snakes
That fork the moving sky
To activate and charge the earth
By chopping three-stacked lines

The sequence makes a system speak
and fits a poet well
Who challenged death renaming grass
In bowers by himself

In placid gusts at forest lawns
I wonder what will spark
The lifeless men beneath the ground
Who died upon a lark.

Thanks for the compliment, I was going for that whole male creation mythos in the hexagram tables and trying to connect it to Whitman but parts of the poem were definitely haphazard.