All Alone

[Keith]

All alone in my little world
I sit and stare and wait
Hoping for a shred of light
Something to change my fate

All alone in my empty room
I wish and pray and plead
That maybe one day
I'll get the love I need

All alone in my aching heart
I sob and moan and cry
Wanting so badly
To just be free and die

But alas, no answer
The night is silent as stone
Because, as you know
I am all alone


A couple days ago I started writing poetry on a whim. This was the first one I wrote. Hope you enjoy! ^_^

Hi SBJ
Welcome to the site I see you have been leaving lots of feedback for others and that is a great way to enter the site, you have certainly had a lot of feedback yourself with this one and I don't see I have anything to add but I will say its a start and its the kind of start that most of us make or made. My advice would be to read through the crits and write another poem and try a different style think about the show not tell and try to avoid cliche. I got similar feedback to you when I started and I even had to google cliche before I realised what they were banging on about. I also found that there are loads of great stuff on the site that helped me understand what poetry is about and how varied it can be. Your in safe hands here and the workshops really work, I know the first feedback sessions can feel a bit slam dunk but everyone has your best interest at heart and wants to help improve your poetry. Best Keith