05-14-2014, 12:16 AM
Dale, It's pretty amusing. I see the irony in calling it a small beer, but the line: 'just one small and tiny beer' seems redundant and a stretch for meter. Perhaps there's a better adjective to pair with tiny. At first, '...messy messes here galore' had a similar lame superfluous reach, but I actually laughed out-loud, so I like it. 
Perhaps a comma after 'my will'. I like the paradox of not taking that last beer, but going to get more to keep it company, just to drink them all anyway. This should be in the for fun forum, but I am glad that you are up to editing it. 
Perhaps a comma after 'my will'. I like the paradox of not taking that last beer, but going to get more to keep it company, just to drink them all anyway. This should be in the for fun forum, but I am glad that you are up to editing it.
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris