I Shall Not Get Drunk Today

[Brownlie]

"Messy messes is really pretty bad."

Yeah, I knew that when I wrote it. Any suggestion are gratefully received.
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"a big pile of doggie poo, -- I think the poem begins to err when it results to being lazy to fix the meter."

I probably should have mention that this is in accentual verse, not metrical. Sorry about that.

I could have written it: the BIGest PILE of DOGgie POO. But that kind of throws off the first line.
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"The rhyme is very sing-songy which can be worked with I suppose if you want to take a simple piece and do something crazy with it."

No, that was intentional, I like that line. I don't mind dropping into Seuss rhyme on occasion, I think it's fun. But we'll see what other people think, but in a non-serious poem, I'm fine with it.

Thanks

Why not try Anapestic Tetrameter?