Delusions

[Brownlie]

The form side seems fine(nice ballad meter), what it is referring to, I've no idea, so I can't tell if the rhymes are forced or not. "That dance a holy mask" seems an odd phrase, and I can't help but wonder if it's there to rhyme with last?
Regardless, I do really like your first rhyme, or maybe I should say off rhyme (sibilant - assonance). Now if I only knew what this was about, it seems to traverse the time from ancient Egypt to at least the reformation. I'm assuming that delusion refers to religion.

Dale

Well, I've put many allusions in the poem. Mask is sort of a pun on the word mask and masque. The mask aspect refers to Luther's idea that certain things act as a Mask for God. The hardened refers to Pharaoh's hardened heart. The fatherstuff refers to Walt Whitman. The speciousness can be loosely related to Milton's depiction of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Whim refers to this quote by Emerson, "I shun father and mother and wife and brother when my genius calls me. I would write on the lintels of the door-post, Whim. I hope that it is somewhat better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation." Critics have connected the word whim to Emerson's dead son which would relate to the plagues of Egypt. The laughing God's refer to Milton's controversial depiction of god who laughs at the tower of babble with his angels. Naming refers to the adamic task of naming. The godless slate would refer to a concept of the material aspect of God. On some level, the poem attempts to convey something about the actual experience of being isolated, hearing voices, and experiencing delusions. The mesmerism also relates to a willful conveyance of energy expressed in Whitman. There is also a stanza that refers to memorial reconstruction. Thanks for Reading. Hope I haven't overstepped my bounds here.