05-11-2014, 10:49 AM
The form side seems fine(nice ballad meter), what it is referring to, I've no idea, so I can't tell if the rhymes are forced or not. "That dance a holy mask" seems an odd phrase, and I can't help but wonder if it's there to rhyme with last?
Regardless, I do really like your first rhyme, or maybe I should say off rhyme (sibilant - assonance). Now if I only knew what this was about, it seems to traverse the time from ancient Egypt to at least the reformation. I'm assuming that delusion refers to religion.
Dale
Regardless, I do really like your first rhyme, or maybe I should say off rhyme (sibilant - assonance). Now if I only knew what this was about, it seems to traverse the time from ancient Egypt to at least the reformation. I'm assuming that delusion refers to religion.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.