05-11-2014, 10:21 AM
Hi TS, thanks for reading. Agreed, "milk" rolls of the tongue better (literally 
), but I find that the newer ending has a greater sense of closure. I'm yet to set this in stone, as I keep going over the poem, saying both at the end! Once again, thanks for taking the time 
Billy, really appreciate your input. Picked up on some things I hadn't even noticed! (that double "look" was atrocious...) Fixed S3 L4 and S7 L2, but I'll definitely take some time to ruminate over those first, third and fourth "stanzas", if you will.
Once again, thanks so much for reading. Really glad you enjoyed it
), but I find that the newer ending has a greater sense of closure. I'm yet to set this in stone, as I keep going over the poem, saying both at the end! Once again, thanks for taking the time Billy, really appreciate your input. Picked up on some things I hadn't even noticed! (that double "look" was atrocious...) Fixed S3 L4 and S7 L2, but I'll definitely take some time to ruminate over those first, third and fourth "stanzas", if you will.
Once again, thanks so much for reading. Really glad you enjoyed it