05-10-2014, 11:49 AM
Hi Browlie,
it certainly reads most smoothly, it's nice and fluid, you've done a good job getting the meter right. However, it doesn't make a great deal of sense to me, as though it were written merely for the meter and rhyme. I'm assuming that this is intentional, though to what purpose I cannot pretend to know. to me, it seems as though a dog-gnawed corpse is speaking, which is interesting, though I kind of wish that what he had said made more sense! Still, even though nonsensical, it was nice to read. Cheers, Marianne
it certainly reads most smoothly, it's nice and fluid, you've done a good job getting the meter right. However, it doesn't make a great deal of sense to me, as though it were written merely for the meter and rhyme. I'm assuming that this is intentional, though to what purpose I cannot pretend to know. to me, it seems as though a dog-gnawed corpse is speaking, which is interesting, though I kind of wish that what he had said made more sense! Still, even though nonsensical, it was nice to read. Cheers, Marianne