05-09-2014, 09:47 PM
(05-09-2014, 06:48 PM)problybombed Wrote: Its funny I read your first paragraph all of a sudden i didn't need to read much more. Your poems rhyme structure was exactly what I dig and appreciate. So many people get caught up following a structurization that they loose their own identity and personality...I would suggest focus more on content that sets up the ur last word you rhyme with, at times it seemed a bit too much- example(intertwine down thru mind seems like forced rhymes) focus more on content than words
Hi Probably: Thank you for commenting; when I wrote it i kept thinking FIRE
ergo; fast, and the rhymes kept coming. If I interrupt that won't it be more incongruous? This was one of my first poems and I have been editing it forever. Thanks for your input, but when you think of it, content is minimal; it's an experience. Loretta