The Fires of Two

[Jinxy]

The Fires of Two

Two fires drawing near
a subtle spark behind the ear
melting into grasping feel
fuel the fires growing dear
which now embrace exotic rhymes
the flames that dance melodiously, this line breaks the rhythm and rhyme quite noticeably, consider a period, stanza break, or a new choice of words
then intertwine, effortless and sublime should be 'intertwining' as you used "drawing" and "burning" etc.
one in space and one in time
compared to history a momentary rhyme
the naked truth of he and me by this point it's all just such a mouthful, you need to insert a break or two
flesh, spirit and mind; two fires combined
burning together, endeavor surrender Endeavouring (to) surrender?
to ultimate moments like this
unfolding in fires of bliss

smiles, laughing wiles
unwanted limits defiled
then, i would unzip your trousers
and in your groin plant fragrant flowers
blossoms of wet honey
full of fire, passions and desires
by whimsy, wanting your power
I remember that shower consider a new stanza or at least insert a period on the last line, totally different idea from what's here
deep within and wet,
no man made barriers set
we rode the ferris wheel
you behind me on the carousel
heavenly fire did we steal,
the fires of two
consumed together
endure then reluctant surrender tense issue, "consumed, endured, reluctantly surrendered"
bliss and pain to both remember
slight the dying embers
on the cold stone floor

It feels like a tongue twister, you try to jump around several rhyme schemes in the first stanza and use only one semicolon. As well, be sure to watch your tenses.