awake all night

[Brownlie]

awake all night
Ok, lets see here...

Each day I find when I wake up -- I don't think you need I find as that information is implied.
that I am one day older,-- I think this can be expressed in fewer words.
my strength it seems grows less and less-, I would get rid of the extra less as it is redundant
and I seem much less bolder.
I’ve lost interest in pretty girls,
they do nothing for me. ---This line is saying what you said in the last line maybe you could combine the two. "they do nothing for me" is a stronger sentiment.
I’d rather be upon a ship,
watching waves at sea. -- I'd get rid of some of the redundant info here as well. If your on a ship watching waves you're either in a large body of water or at sea.
All day long I want to sleep
and this I strive to fight, -- All day long I fight off sleep?

yet at days end when darkness comes,
I stay awake all night. -- Again some redundancy.

–Erthona


©2014

I believe this poem needs to be made more dense and I think this can be accomplished by adding more specific imagery and clipping some of the redundancy.