05-06-2014, 03:18 AM
"Dale, This is a short form for you." Yeah, generally I consider anything less that the length of a sonnet a short form poem.
"You know, watching the waves until they lull you to sleep or something of that nature. See what you think."
I understand what you are saying, but I don't see how to do that without ruining the ending. Plus I would need to add four more lines, unless I wanted to change the rhyme that is there.
This poem is less about me (I'm only 56-57 somewhere in there), than it is about older people I have observed who nod off a lot during the day. I have also thought about writing a poem around the idea that sleep and dreaming gives a respite from a life where you know things will only get worse (at least physically). Of course Leanne has already chided me about writing to many poems about old age and death...
Dale
"You know, watching the waves until they lull you to sleep or something of that nature. See what you think."
I understand what you are saying, but I don't see how to do that without ruining the ending. Plus I would need to add four more lines, unless I wanted to change the rhyme that is there.
This poem is less about me (I'm only 56-57 somewhere in there), than it is about older people I have observed who nod off a lot during the day. I have also thought about writing a poem around the idea that sleep and dreaming gives a respite from a life where you know things will only get worse (at least physically). Of course Leanne has already chided me about writing to many poems about old age and death...
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.