The Wild Wind

[kindofahippy]

From a novice to a newb, hello there, and welcome to the site! Now, dale pretty much illuminated all the points I was going to make, so it would be redundant to state them. Inversion, meter, and other metrical tools are his forte.

I am intrigued by the content. One thing about poem crafting that I find depressing is how cliched everything is. I mean, the wildness of the wind has been a recurring theme since thousands of years ago. How can you write freshly on a beautiful theme when the Greeks did it in the Odyssey?

I honestly belive that, at some point, you have to stop giving a damn what other people think. That's not to say you shouldn't regard it, as you should, but when you recognize that a perfectly fine poem will be crushed down just because the theme is overused, which is unavoidable given the epochs that poetry has been around, then you can take a deep breath, relax, and offer your own unique take on a subject combined with excerpts from history.

The Wild Wind

Hear the wild wind, his musical roar This is an Aeolian harp
as he sweeps from the north and kisses the moor sweeps and kisses work nice. sweeps give you this idea of dust flying off the moor while it's getting kissed
he sings of adventure and groans to allureUm, no, a groaning wind is usualy spooky. a groaning person, however, can be alluring
riding the hills in his splendid grandeur Here's where it hits cliche, and that is perfectly okay. It really says something that, througout human history, people have been so entranced by the wind, it's freedom and wildness. Repeating the theme doesn't extenuate a cliche; rather, it emphasises a culturally important theme. If aliens, or future historians, look back at the ruin of our culture, then they will see that we, as have others before us, and doubtless they, have this feeling of freedom and majesty attached to the wind.

Here is the poem Riding the Wind Together by Heather Burns.

I can actually read the first stanza and get a perfect tetrameter out of it. The iambs and trochees bounce around a bit, but it still sounds right. I have no idea if that opinion can be verified, though.

Inhale the depth of the wild salt air
as he runs his wild fingers through your wind-tossed hair
watch the wild wind as he blows through the streets
tossing dead leaves that once dwelt in peacenot sure if tetrameter
swaying the lanterns the street corners keep One time I tried to take a lantern from a street corner, and it bit me

Ocean winds and city winds add tactile feel to any work of prose or poetry, from The Ryme of the Ancient Mariner by Coleridge to A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens. It gives a sense of chill and foreboding, or it can give a sense of calm and refreshing

ride the wild wind as he seeks through your sill
the spice of your kiss and the gift of your will
making wild merry disturbing the sheets
wreaking will laughter in an erotic feast

This stanza doesn't work. It's inverted all to hell, for the sake of rhyming. Also, again, there is nothing sensual about a blast of wind through your window, it's more annoying than anything else. Try something like "he will ruin your bedding, and before he has passed,/you will see him wreaking laughter in a manic blast" (the meter doesn't work with that, but meh. just something less inverted, more natural). You might consider just deleting this stanza, it's long-winded.

Ride the wild wind whenever you can
over wild raging seas and mountain blessed land delete "wild"
to unusual places, of exotic reports
let the wild winds, enlighten your thoughts no comma, and What? Enlightenment is the concept of stillness and peace, but I can see how you might mean that the wind makes you think about things more

When I read this stanza, I get transported to the garden of the golden apple from the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It brings a rush of childhood memories, soaring with the pegasi, so wild, wild and free, living life so antisocially.

Reap the wild wind, a pure breath of life like in the book of genesis, where God breathes life into people
the fruit of the day, when it is ripe Como?
there is only in(one) question, this moment in time
be it sublime, or a threadbare dead rhyme ok, what's that have to do with the wind?

Reap the wild wind,
come what may,
for death at you grins at how silly this inverted sentence is
from an open doorway yes, but I'm sure he was grinning when he rang the doorbell
g.e.Kaye[...]

I don't know, I see the link between reap/Death scythe, but in general the wind is associated with life and purity, not death and decay.