Finitude- poem

[ChristopherSea]

The suicide balk is not very convincing (most suicide contemplations aren't). The same thing goes for the idea that someone you have broken up with still makes life work living. I would find some other reason for that. Some hot gal in a sports car or some beauty of nature drawing your attention. I just noticed your revision as I type this. It is best to post your newest edit above the original so that both you and the reader can watch the progression. It still lacks the motivation in my opinion. I would elaborate on the cause and tie up the resolution with a better excuse to go on living. Perhaps have a squirrel get hit by a car to snap your narrator out of it. Good luck with your edit./Chris