05-05-2014, 06:36 PM
All joking aside, I think you need to define your theme better. It seems too abstract. Much of the narrative is ambiguous, e.g., 'travels hand in hand with me', 'can't walk alone', etc. There is also some odd syntax, more than likely to support a rhyme scheme: 'Could not care much less for gold', 'and around the world does roam'. Declaring your 'thing' may help readers to provide critique on how to get there. A riddle is fine if there is enough supporting evidence for the reader to make an educated guess at it after reading the poem. Good luck with it./Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris

