Traffic Jam through Condiment County
#6
(05-04-2014, 04:30 PM)SilverMire Wrote:  I lock eyes with the roadblock
as my trolley locks its wheels.

He's sticky and salty, loud and red and
weeping on the floor between me and the milk.

So I retreat, but not before
we click - not before
I give that secret handshake of a nod
that comes with being kids together in an adult world -

not before I realise that he's the one bound
by the finitude of language.

He looks back to his mother
and gives her another inadequate look
called “I hate the hypocrisy
exhibited in our household,"

called "I'm filing for emancipation
soon as I'm literate,"

called “Sure, yoghurt’s tasty,
but I really want this Nutella.”
Hi,
I like the "milk" instead of "cornflakes.
But I much preferred your original closing line to the new one.
Was it,
"Sure yoghurt's tasty, but so is this Nutella."?
In all I find the piece funny and political, plus the point of view is unique (a child's).
A nice read.
TS
Reply


Messages In This Thread
RE: Traffic Jam in Peanut Butter County - by poe - 05-05-2014, 08:06 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!