Young Folks in Love

[71degrees]

(inspired by "Under the Porch Light")


There they are walking on paths,
taking up space on already crowded
sidewalks, oblivious, they entertain
even love doves in the park

They come in pairs, intertwining
like ivy, like braided hair strands,
becoming love couples in spring

They are at once congruent,
a subject-and-verb in agreement,
a salt-and-pepper blend of hands,
arms, shoulders, and rubbing thighs

Isn’t it a pity
Isn’t it a shame
there isn’t a person alive
who will tell them
how they will one day break
each other’s heart

over breakfast:
two cups of black coffee,
two poached eggs,
and all those sharp words
to come, broken in halves

I took the speaker to be a bit brooding and detached which I like. My only critique after a quick read is that you seem to have multiple metaphors that convey the same thing.

You are correct on all counts. Thanks for the read.

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Hi, 71, I enjoyed the shift in this, the sunny warmth to icy cold.

(inspired by "Under the Porch Light")


There they are walking on paths,
taking up space on already crowded
sidewalks, oblivious, they entertain
even love doves in the park

They come in pairs, intertwining
like ivy, like braided hair strands, beautiful description
becoming love couples in spring

They are at once congruent, The "at once" leaves me waiting for the incongruent.
a subject-and-verb in agreement,
a salt-and-pepper blend of hands,
arms, shoulders, and rubbing thighs

Isn’t it a pity
Isn’t it a shame How we break each other's hearts, George Harrison, saddest song.
there isn’t a person alive
who will tell them
how they will one day break
each other’s heart

over breakfast:
two cups of black coffee,
two poached eggs,
and all those sharp words
to come, broken in halves

I like the end, simply two grown together and apart.

Thanks for the read, well done.

George was the loneliest Beatle. Overwhelmed and under appreciated by the world. Thanks for picking that out. It's fun to have different perspectives on the same topic. That being said, what happened to our inspiring porch writer?

---

(inspired by "Under the Porch Light")


There they are walking on paths,
taking up space on already crowded
sidewalks, oblivious, they entertain
even love doves in the park

They come in pairs, intertwining
like ivy, like braided hair strands,
becoming love couples in spring

They are at once congruent,
a subject-and-verb in agreement,
a salt-and-pepper blend of hands,
arms, shoulders, and rubbing thighs

Isn’t it a pity
Isn’t it a shame
there isn’t a person alive
who will tell them
how they will one day break
each other’s heart

over breakfast:
two cups of black coffee,
two poached eggs,
and all those sharp words
to come, broken in halves

---

Hi, this is my first time and I am a student: I liked the poem very much; I do think the end a bit one-sided. I'm not sure what is meant by using many metaphors for the same idea; it seems like a good idea to me. Guess I have a lot to learn. Loretta

Loretta Young was one of the very cool actresses of her time. Great name. Oh, and we all have a lot to learn. Every person here.