The Blackwood River -edited

[SilverMire]

The Blackwood River


I should love to be the river Perhaps consider "I'd"? I think it'd flow better, not seem so forced.
that sallies through these hills
and reflects the clouds in silver
ripples ridging. Taste the thrills

of growing wide with winter rain, I like "growing wide with winter rain", that's a nice image to dwell on right there. I think, "taste the thrills" is a tad forced
rolling around the bends,
flirtation with the bracken fern
and bushes as it wends

and winds its way along the banks I think this would read better without "and winds", despite the meter
tree-lined, collecting leaves
to move downstream. Then with its thanks
murmured amidst the reeds,

it rushes by the boulders, tickling
the pebbles in its path
with bubbling and trickling,
a noisy streaming bath.

I should love to be the Blackwood Same I'd sentiment
River, (that’ll be my wish)
refreshing anyone I could
and hugging all the fish. I don't feel this rhyme gives us closure. Fish feels like an awkward word to finish with. Maybe that's just me

This no doubt has potential. I'd consider revising the strict rhyming - throw in a few slants, like that "rain/fern" sequence, instead perhaps. That's just my taste though.

Hope this helps in some small way