Finitude- poem

[aerickson]

Just a poem I wrote. It's definitely rough and unpolished. Any thoughts are appreciated!

Finitude

Above a freeway I stand— Maybe instead: I stand above a freeway
281 to be exact— To be exact seems like weird wording. Why would the reader care what highway exactly?
Watching dozens of bright lights
approach and pass.I feel like the imagery here could go further and would fit with your sense of helplessness - like the world is just passing you by, oblivious to your pain

It’s mid-April now, Mid takes away from the feel - just plain April works fine
It’s been four months,
And yet the pain
does not fade. I would say "will not fade" fits with your next line of wanting it to end, but it just won't! Like you're trying to make it fade...

I want it to end
ButI know it won’t
and against my will
fresh tears begin anew. cliche, maybe say: my cheeks are wet again or something like that - better imagery anyway

I edge forward,
Ready to embrace my finitenessThis and the next line are suddenly so long compared to the others - need rephrasing
But an image of you supplants itself
within my mind.

And I step away
And realize that
despite my sorrow,
despite my pain,

You make my life
worth living.sorta cliche

You have some punctuation and capitalizing problems to fix. I like it, though. I like how it flows form sorrow to hope.