I Wished I Was The Water -edited

[aerickson]

I really like this poem. The rhyme and meter are great and you have some really great imagery. I especially liked your last stanza. Well put. Thank you for posting!

3rd edit
I Wished I Was The Water


As I watched you in the shower,
my wanton thoughts untold,
how I wished I was the water
that gently, warmly flowed

and beaded on your moistened skin
as if by pure attraction;
as if clinging to you gave
the water satisfaction.

I thought of Zeus as loving rain
o’er lonely Danae streaming
as rivulets of water left
your body wet and gleaming.

I pondered on which lucky drop
I should most like to be
and whereabouts on you to cling
if it were up to me.

Then your tongue – it swept your lip
and drew a drop inside...
Blessed fate! To be that drop
and on those lips to die!




2nd edit
The Shower


As I watched you in the shower,
my wanton thoughts untold,
how I wished I was the water
that gently, warmly flowed

and beaded on your moistened skin
as if by pure attraction;
as if to so caress you gave
the water satisfaction.

I thought of Zeus as loving rain
o’er lonely Danae streaming
as rivulets of water left
your body wet and gleaming.

I pondered on which lucky drop
I should most like to be
and whereabouts on you to cling
if it were up to me.

Then your tongue – it swept your lip
and drew a drop inside...
Blessed fate! To be that drop
and on those lips to die!


1st Edit

The Shower


As I watched you in the shower,
my wanton thoughts untold,
how I wished I was the water
that wetly, warmly flowed

and beaded on your shining skin
as if by pure attraction;
as if to so caress you gave
the water satisfaction.

I thought of Zeus as gentle rain
o’er lonely Danae streaming
as rivulets of water left
your body wet and gleaming.

I pondered on which lucky drop
I should most like to be
and whereabouts on you to cling
if it were up to me.

Then your tongue – it swept your lip
and drew a drop inside...
Blessed fate! To be that drop
and on those lips to die!



original

The Shower

How I watched you in the shower
All my lovesick thoughts untold
And I wished I was the water
That so wetly, warmly flowed

And beaded on your shining skin
As if by pure attraction;
As if to thus caress you gave
The water satisfaction.

I thought of Zeus as golden rain
O’er lonely Danae streaming
As rivulets of water left
Your body wet and gleaming

And pondered on which lucky drop
I should most like to be
And whereabouts on you to cling
If it were up to me.

Then your sweet tongue swept your lip
And drew a dew inside
Oh blessed fate! To be that drip
And on those lips to die!