04-28-2014, 09:56 PM
(04-23-2014, 07:59 PM)ChristopherSea Wrote: 'nought but' is a bit awkward and archaic. 'is here' comes off silly and contrived for the rhyme. Perhaps you could work at pairing 'god is dead' with 'chance survives' into your closing.I think the antiquity of the statement is wonderful, actually: a splash of irony against the future-looking line before it. The poem doesn't need any changing, or any additions: it has a good rhythm and the word choice is strong, plus the terseness makes it all the more forceful in presenting its point. What it needs is a reply.
