I Wished I Was The Water -edited

[billy]

i've missed a lot of stuff lately and i can't play catch up but i saw this as it was near the top of the pile welcome to the site. it's a fun piece and for me enjoying a poem is the most important...i enjoyed this one because of light heartedness and also because it works on a deeper level of wanting something you don't, or can't have.

thanks for the read and the shower.

2nd edit
The Shower


As I watched you in the shower,
my wanton thoughts untold,
how I wished I was the water
that gently, warmly flowed

and beaded on your moistened skin
as if by pure attraction;
as if to so caress you gave this line out and out doesn't work for me. i have to keep repeating it to get it right. a suggestion would be [and with and with one small caress you gave]
the water satisfaction.

I thought of Zeus as loving rain
o’er lonely Danae streaming
as rivulets of water left
your body wet and gleaming.

I pondered on which lucky drop
I should most like to be
and whereabouts on you to cling
if it were up to me.

Then your tongue – it swept your lip
and drew a drop inside...
Blessed fate! To be that drop a suggestion would be [Bless'd fate! To be that lucky drop] to keep the meter but in retrospect maybe not as the meter is off in other places.
and on those lips to die!