Virtuality

[ralex003]

I don't know where you're going with this poem, but I do agree with a lot of the people here about the last line resonating. I think you should take the idea the last line conveys and use it to rewrite the poem. Why are you eating your hair? Why does the poem start with so much positive imagery and end with such negative? I know that you alone know for sure what you're trying to convey, but I have a hard time figuring it out.