04-23-2014, 02:14 PM
Hi Dale
An interesting take on the subject,in my limited reading on the subject, usually Kundalini energy is depicted as a snake, so I found the dragon refreshing.
I liked 'the lowest lows the highest highs' and 'bewildered mumblings, oft confused' which nicely describe the effect of the rising energy on the mood and mind. Also I liked the transformation of dragon to dove in the last line, this sums up nicely the sense of enlightenment that follows an awakening.
Other posters have criticized your commas, I googled willow wisp to no avail, nicely alliterative, but should it be willowy wisp as in slender spirit, or will-o-wisp as in ball of light? It was the only bit that didn't seem to go for me.
Overall, I liked it, good job
Marianne
An interesting take on the subject,in my limited reading on the subject, usually Kundalini energy is depicted as a snake, so I found the dragon refreshing.
I liked 'the lowest lows the highest highs' and 'bewildered mumblings, oft confused' which nicely describe the effect of the rising energy on the mood and mind. Also I liked the transformation of dragon to dove in the last line, this sums up nicely the sense of enlightenment that follows an awakening.
Other posters have criticized your commas, I googled willow wisp to no avail, nicely alliterative, but should it be willowy wisp as in slender spirit, or will-o-wisp as in ball of light? It was the only bit that didn't seem to go for me.
Overall, I liked it, good job
Marianne