Love Sonnet

[SilverMire]

I’ve strained and pulled; I’ve given all I can. I'd consider getting rid of the period here and employing a little enjambment.
Yet bound in links of iron dollar signs
and forced to work these old, exhausted mines,
I’m told that this is how to be a man.

So lately, I’ve been doubting why I’m here:
a faithless soul who’s fated to be lost If you've been end-stopping line previously, I think between this and the next begs for some sort of punctuation.
a lifetime in a world of counting cost,
and getting by... and cowering, in fear.

But what is this that now I feel so free? I'd consider revising this. A sonnet is supposed to sing, this feels a little stop-start
the way you touch my heart… you loose the chains
and gently peel them from their time-worn veins
to show me everything that I can be.

And now, with hope at last, my soul can see
that I belong with you, and you with me. Slight cliché to end, but that's ok

Hope these things help in some small way. The art of rhyming is to make the words so appropriate that one almost misses the rhyme - it's smething I'm still working on myself