Objects

[milo]

In a chair on the lawn, as I rested at dawn
and soaked in the sounds of the day
I closed my eyes and listened for the padding of a kitten
who I knew was sure to come my way.

The hallowed old oak considered me a joke
as I sympathized with animal kind.
Still I gave the cat some milk and pet his unkempt fur
and listened to him purr as he dined.

I would rather be the robin in that tree
than sit here as I am, being me.
A beast has no morals of which to speak
and that gives them a wild beauty.

We humans lay waste to the world in haste
and in haste, we live till we die.
Animals remain locked in the present frame
and don't seem to bother asking why.

We trod about with our pomp and clout
and relegate animals to an industry.
For cattle, fish and dogs, mice, poultry, hogs;
Just an object to be used by humanity.

Feeling, living, breathing,
hurting, resting, bleeding,
almost sentient Personal Property.

To be honest, I think it is a disaster. The worst of it is the rhyme and meter which are both handled with the grace of a hippopotamous ballerina. The first 2 lines showed promise in that they were written in consistent rhyme and meter but from there it is a chore to read the inconsistent metrics and forced rhymes.

It uses cliché plattitudes for filler instead of poetry - "humans lay waste to the world in haste", it creates syntactic impossibilities "animals remain locked in the present frame . . ."

It goes on and on saying nothing particularly new or interesting in the most authoritative but boring fashion all while maintaining no music, grammatic clumsiness, and a general awkwardness with language. Other than the first 2 lines I see nothing salvageable.

Thanks for posting.

Good luck.