04-18-2014, 08:36 AM
Most limericks tend to have 8 or 9 syllables in the first two lines, 5 or 6 in the third and fourth, and 8 or 9 in the fifth. Whether 8 or 9/ 5 or 6 are chosen, lines 1, 2 and 5 should have the same amount of syllables, as should lines 4 and 5, to carry the poem's momentum vividly. I agree with the previous posters that your meter issues make your, admittedly comic, 5 line poem something that is far from a traditional limerick.
Tectak's fourth line - "he boned her real good" - isn't such a good example, because it has 5 syllables compared with the previous line's 6.
In fact:
A drunkard with dog-body odor - 9
found a bitch with no morals or candor - 10
In his shack in the woods - 6
he boned her real good - 5
and woke with a cur...but still owed her. - 9
loses the whimsical momentum which defines a limerick, by having an offbeat rhythm.
However, it is far nearer to a limerick's rhythm than the original offering I guess.
Keep experimenting though
Tectak's fourth line - "he boned her real good" - isn't such a good example, because it has 5 syllables compared with the previous line's 6.
In fact:
A drunkard with dog-body odor - 9
found a bitch with no morals or candor - 10
In his shack in the woods - 6
he boned her real good - 5
and woke with a cur...but still owed her. - 9
loses the whimsical momentum which defines a limerick, by having an offbeat rhythm.
However, it is far nearer to a limerick's rhythm than the original offering I guess.
Keep experimenting though